Harry Potter One-Shots
by TheDivineDoggo
Summary: I had nothing to do, I need a break from working on Tighten Up Your Springlocks and thus made this One-SHots full fanfic that is pure OOC and full of weirdness.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning ArticUNO - Harry will minorly be OOC (Out Of Character)**

**Warning ZapDOS - The logic will not exist and will not follow some things canon.**

**Warning MolTRES - I have a sense of humor that makes me amused, but doesn't make ordinary people amused.**

* * *

_**Uno!**_

"So you're saying the first time we'll practice these spells is in the O.W.L.s?" Harry exclaimed, not happy.

"I repeat, if you've studied the theory hard enough, there should be no reason as to why you cannot do the spell," replied Umbridge.

"And if the theory is wrong?"

"Why, why would the theory be wrong Mr. Potter."

"So if we did something like this," Harry began, raising his hands in the air,

_"Animal nukes, animal nukes!_

_"I call upon your power and ask of you!_

_"Release the seal that separates the mortal world and Patronus world!_

_"And unleash my Patronus!_

"Like honestly that would be just-" he was cut off when a white, misty door appeared above him, opened, and revealed his Dementor Patronus, that went after Umbridge.

Umbridge's disguise wore off revealing that she was secretly Scabbers, who turned into Peter Pettigrew, who was secretly the Darkness Dementor Princess Queen and died.

The Patronus then disappeared.

Everyone took a while to process what happened.

"What the fu-" Harry was cut off again with a _POP!_

"Harry!" Rita Skeeter said!

"How the bloody hell did you apprate here?!"

"Why I came since I figured you deserve to know some things.

"First, you are related to Voldemort through his father's side, and have a piece of his soul in you,

"Second, you were close to being Harry Snape,

"Third, you die, and come back to life again and become famous among muggles!"

"Now, I've spoiled too much, obliviate!"

* * *

Harry would now wake up thinking the whole thing was a dream that he'd forget about, as well as the rest of the class, as well as the whole school being obliviated by Rita 24/7 in order to ensure no one knew of Umbridge's true identity.


	2. Chapter 2

**This is not meant to follow the timeline or year or any logic, this shit I just came up with. Fuck the logic, though I did go on a website that wasn't Pottermore to see what House the two characters I just came up with would be in, I'll let you find out what they are.**

**Warning I'm cringy as fuck, lesgo.**

* * *

**Muggle-Born Fanatics**

_**1994-1995**_

It was a muggle-born Gryffindor that was chosen as the champion for Hogwarts, his fellow muggle-born Hufflepuff had been beyond ecstatic, but then Harry Potter's name came out. Obviously he didn't put it in, there was the age gap! Plus there was the drama in the last three years, obviously even someone supposedly _that_ famous couldn't handle at that crap he went to, but she went, '_my friend's the__' champion!'_ Though she did have to pity for the boy, heck he was famous for something he did when he couldn't even walk and he was getting all the credit.

But nevertheless, her friend was champion, and that was all that mattered.

* * *

Honestly, she wanted to intervene wit the tournament right there, right now, when it was her best friend, and the dragon, her mind, and instincts screamed to get in between her friend and the Swedish Short-snout, but she couldn't, rules forbid it.

_'The rules mean nothing your friend's life is on the line!'_ she thought, _'you friend requested no intervention, he had this in the bag he said.'_

She gave in to the second statement.

However, his friend had spoken out, "_Accio_ watermelon!" and said melon came zooming into his hands.

She had to resist the urge to laugh, even when at the face of death he remained humorous as ever.

"I come in peace, and I offer a watermelon!" he spoke out, "I merely wish for that golden fake egg in return!"

The dragon lowered it's head in front of him, sniffing him and the melon, it then proceeded to take the melon and swallowed it whole. A melon, a _melon of all things_ had just suddenly kept the dragon from killing him? She giggled, leave it to her best friend to come up with the silliest solutions.

Several sat there, agape at the sight of what had just occurred, the dragon then proceeded to roll the egg towards the Gryffindor.

"Thank you," he said, bowing before the dragon, "have a good day!"

That was it, of course, he'd make a PewDiePie reference. _**(See PewDiePie's Minecraft series, IDK which episode.)**_

* * *

She had been asked to drop off her friend's Pomeranian, Charming, she wasn't sure why though, the natural instincts that made her rightfully mother the pup mad her think this was a bad idea after she had dropped off Charming, she had been told it was for the tournament. It was too late to go back.

_'Exactly what a shitty friend does__,'_ she thought.

* * *

_'I should have gone back, I should have gone back, I should have gone back,'_ this madness of repetition repeated in her head as soon at the next trial began, she panicked, what had she done? However, the way her friend had introduced himself completely changed to mood, and she uncontrollably tried to sustain the giggles.

Her friend, in a scuba diving suit, began naruto running toward the lake, and continued to do so until he went in the lake,

That was when she lost it, several others giggled at well, some laughing very, _very_ loud.

When her friend had returned, however, Charming was sleeping, and he ripped off his scuba mask.

"Nobody!" he furiously began, "_nobody risk the death of my pomeranian! Locomotor Wibbly!"_

The Jelly-Legs Jinx then proceeded to go towards the judges but _damn_ was the beginning and end of that funny.

* * *

**I came up with this shit at the top of my head, I'm ending it with what I started with.**


End file.
